Itachi's Diary
by AnimeViolinist001
Summary: Ever wonder what's in Uchiha Itachi's secret diary? Hmmmmm....
1. Ugh! I HATE TOBI!

Alright, so for everyone who read _41 Ways to Annoy Itachi_, you'll probably know that #11 says to steal his diary, read it out loud to everyone in the Akatsuki, and post it on the internet. The reason this has to do with anything is because I started to wonder, what really is in Itachi's diary? So I decided to make what might be in Itachi's diary.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or anything else in this story. Although, it would be kinda cool if I did. :D

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 6, 2008

Dear Diary,

Like OMG, I SO hated today! Okay, so like the first thing that happened was that Leader-san sent Kisame(Fish sticks man!) and I to go get that Naruto kid, who's like my annoying little brother's friend. So then I was like so angry because I went and did that like yesterday! I mean come on! Ugh! Okay, so then like later Fish sticks man and I went to go get that blond kid, so yeah. So like later when we get back to like the super secret hideout, I found out that like Tobi replaced my nailpolish with a different shade! I was SO fuckin' angry! Ugh! Now, like my nails look SO stupid because they're not dark purple anymore! They're like a lightish darkish purple! Ugh! I LIKE **HATE** TOBI!!

Love,

Itachi, the like totally awesome master of all!


	2. My nails looked horrible!

Yay! Next diary entry! Oh and for everyone who reviewed and said that I made Itachi sound like a girl, well, that was all intentional. I absolutly hate Itachi and, personally, think he's gay, so yeah. :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or anything else stated in here. And once again, it would still be awesome if I could:P

-------------------------------------------------------

March 7, 2008

Dear diary,

Today, was like an okay day. Leader-san like sent Fish sticks man and I to get that annoying kid again! Ugh! But like at least I got my purple nail polish back. Okay, well like I more like stole it back rather then like get it back. I mean, I'm not gonna like wait for a fuckin' loser, like Tobi, to give back my like totally awesome nail polish! So then like when no one was like paying attention or anything, I snuck out of the like super secret hideout to go and get my nails done. I mean they were beginning to look absolutely horrible! So after the manicure, my nails were like all perfect and WAY better then anyone else's gay nails! I'm so awesome! Yeah. :D

Love,

Itachi, the person with like WAY better nails then you'll ever have!


	3. I like LOVED today!

Hmmm...do I need to add an extra note or anything? No, I don't! So just enjoy the next diary entry!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or anything else listed in here. But I could always think about:D

----------------------------------------------------------

March 8, 2008

Dear diary,

Today, was like a TOTALLY awesome day! Like this morning, I like found out that Fish sticks man and I didn't have to go get that like loser blonde kid! Hell yeah! So then I like spent some of the day like working on my hair, which came out perfectly! It now does like that like totally awesome hair flip thing whenever the wind blows. I just like LOVE that! So like later I went to go get more nail polish, because I was like running out of my totally awesome dark purple one. So like when I got to the store, I like found out that they were like having a like HUGE sale! Like OMG! That like rocks! So I bought like 30 bottles of nail polish. Yeah, so like now, I don't have to sneak out every once in a while to get nail polish. And I'll like have extra if like fuckin' Tobi takes my nail polish like again.

Love,

Itachi, who has WAY better hair then you'll like ever have!


	4. Like so bored

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto blah blah blah. You already know.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 9, 2008

Dear diary,

Bored. Like so bored. Nothing intresting like happened today. It was like the same old boring shit that I go through like everyday. Ok, so like Leader-san sent us to go get Kyuubi kid again. Then we like came back. So then I was like all bored and started yelling at Tobi because I hate him for like just living. I mean seriously, it is like SO annoying to listen to, "Tobi is a good boy!" over and over again! So I then like snuck into my room and just stared at my totally awesome self like I always do. So yeah, I'm like bored. Yeah.

Love,

Itachi, the master of boredom


	5. I am like going to like KILL Tobi!

Sorry I haven't updated the last few days. I've been busy with some things. So here's the next entry. :D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naru- screw it! You guys already know what I'm going to say!...er type!

---------------------------------------------------------

March 12, 2008

Dear diary,

Okay, so like I've been like really busy with some crap which is why I like haven't like updated in the last few days. Alright, so like Leader-san sent Fish sticks man and I to get that fuckin' kid for like the billionth time! Ugh! I sometimes wish I like hadn't killed my clan! So then like Fishsticks man and I had to be Tobi's partner because like Deidara is like "sick". Pft! Yeah right! That loser just doesn't want to be around Tobi! So like for the last few days, I was on a mission with Fishsticks man and Tobi! I wanted to kill Tobi the second I like found out he was going on a mission with me! I mean like seriously who wouldn't like want to kill him after like 3 days straight of like listening to him say, "Tobi is a good boy!" You know what, I like don't care what Leader-san says anymore! I'm like so gonna kill Tobi!

Love,

Itachi, who's going to beat Tobi into a bloody pulp!


	6. I like need a new pair of shoes

New entry! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I've been working on some stuff and yeah.

**Disclaimer:** I do not blah blah blah! Y'all know the rest!

March 22, 2008

Dear diary,

Okay, so like today, was boring and like kinda good. Okay, so like I didn't have to like do anything today, which is like a good thing. But then I was like what the hell am I like going to do now? I mean I have like nothing today and it's so fuckin' boring here. I don't even like know why I joined these wannabes. But it was like also good because I got my hair to do that like totally awesome hair flip thing whenever the wind blows. But it like sucked because now I couldn't like show off to everyone. Yeah. I need to like go get new shoes because these shoes are like so two days ago. On the like brightside, my nails like look so awesome because of this like nail coat stuff so it like looks all shiny and shit. Yeah.

Love,

Itachi, who like totally needs a like new pair of shoes.


	7. Shoes!

Yes, I know you guys have heard this excuse before, but seriously, I'm really busy! Anyway, here's the latest entry. Oh and go vote in the poll on my profile.

**Disclaimer: **...Do I really have to say anything?

--

April 12, 2008

Dear diary,

Okay, so like today, I didn't have to like do anything, which is like such a like good thing because I need to go get like some new shoes. I mean my old ones are like so 10 minutes ago and that is like such a long time. So I like snuck out of the like ultra super mega secret hideout to go shopping like again. And like so the thing is there was like this one pair of like totally awesome shoes, but they like costed like a lot and like if I got them I would like have to give up the manicure and pedicure I was like going to get and I NEED MY MANICURE AND PEDICURE! I mean like if I didn't get my nails done they would look so ew! And I like really didn't want that. So instead I went back to the like ultra super mega secret hideout and like took some of Tobi's money and like used that to get my manicure and pedicure. So like in the end, things were pretty good because I got like a new pair of totally awesome shoes and my nails look like totally awesome now!

Love,

Itachi and his like totally awesome new shoes!


	8. MUST KILL TOBI AND LEADER SAN!

You should know what I'm going to say by now. Oh and I am working on another fanfic right now, but I need your help! I know this has probably been done like a million times before, but whatever. I need you guys to send me questions to ask the Naruto characters. I will set up a poll on my profile because I will only be doing 5 chapters and I need to know which characters. So send me your questions through reviews, messages, Gaia, Deviantart, or Myspace. Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** You know what I'm going to say...or type...SEND ME QUESTIONS TO ASK!

--

April 20, 2008

Dear diary,

Today, I like had nothing to like do, which like really sucked because I was like stuck with fuckin' Tobi like the entire day! UGH! DO YOU LIKE KNOW HOW LIKE ANNOYING THAT WAS?! Like OMG! I wanted to like rip my like totally awesome hair out, but like I didn't because I didn't like want to mess up my manicure and I like just did my hair. So like instead I like tried to like lock him in a closet, but that didn't work out because like Leader-san made me unlock it. So then I like tried to like get him to jump off a cliff, but then Leader-san found out and stopped me. HE LIKE TAKES THE FUN OUT OF LIKE EVERYTHING! UGH! I mean he would like want to do the like same thing if he was like stuck with Tobi all day! I mean seriously, you would like be annoyed to if you had to sit and listen to Tobi say, "TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" ALL DAY LONG! UGH!

Love,

Itachi, who will now go kill Tobi and Leader-san!


	9. Like worst birthday like ever!

Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy with some stuff, so yeah. Anyway, I need you guys to send in questions you want to ask Gaara, Itachi, Hinata, Kakashi, and/or Tobi. Yes, you can send in more than one question. You can send in as many as you want. Thanks! And once again, sorry I haven't updated for a while. By the way, there's a small mistake that I put in there on purpose because there's a reason I put it there. Figure that out and you get a prize or something. I'll figure that out later.

**Disclaimer: **Blah blah blah. You all know this crap! I don't need to repeat it!

--

July 21, 2008.

Dear diary,

Like OMG! I haven't like written in here in like forever! Like OMG again! Okay, so like last month was like my birthday and it like sucked! Okay, so like I was like in my room like listening to ipod, when like all of a sudden Tobi comes and tells me he's a good boy. And I'm like Tobi get like the hell out of my like room. And he like wouldn't fuckin' leave! So I then I like tried to like bribe him into leaving my room, which like worked perfectly, except it took me like 10 minutes to get him out. So I'm like listening to my ipod again, when like all of a sudden, like Tobi comes back in and like steals my ipod! Like OMG! I LIKE HATE HIM SO MUCH! So then I like decided to like go shopping or something because like my shoes are like so 5 minutes ago and that is like forever. So I'm like looking for shoes when this lady came out of like nowhere and is like those shoes don't like match your outfit! And I'm like WTF?! I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR LIKE FUCKIN' OPINION! Like OMG! What the hell is like wrong with her? So then I like went back to like the ultra super mega secret hideout and like when I got there I was like SO pissed. Because like Tobi was like in my room again! OMG! What the hell is like wrong with him?! Like OMG! I hated my like birthday!

Love,

Itachi, supreme ruler of all that is awesome!


	10. Tobi like died!

Wow, I haven't updated in a REALLY long time. I would tell you my excuse, but you guys should know it by now. I've decided to not write my newest fanfic, so if you sent in a question, sorry. No one figure out the mistake I had in the last chapter, so no one gets a prize. The mistake was in the date. The date I posted was my birthday. So as of now, I'm currently a number and one month. Yeah, I don't like revealing my real age and my myspace doesn't have it either so don't bother trying. Anyway, here's the new chapter and it's dedicated to my friend, Hpfreak94. Reason why: she just wanted to see Tobi die.

**Disclaimer: **Okay, so like, I don't like own anything in like this story.

--

August 30, 2008.

Dear diary,

OMG! So like yesterday I like finally got rid of Tobi! Like yay! Alright, so like I found out that like Tobi really liked candy. So like I like tricked him to like jump off a cliff and it was like SO fucking hilarious! I like thought I was like going to like die from like laughter. Since Tobi is like gone now, I had like more time to like go shopping which was like great because I needed like a new pair of like shoes, since like the ones I like have now are like so 5 minutes ago. Ugh! Do you have like any idea how like long that is? OMG! My shoes are probably like SO out of fashion! Like OMG! But like the only problem was that like the shoes I wanted costed like a lot, so I decided to like steal some of Kakuzu's money. I mean it's not like he's going to like notice or anything. Besides, if he does like notice, I could always like threaten him with like something. I don't like know yet, but I'll like think of something like later. Besides, thinking like makes my brain like hurt like a lot. Ugh! And I like hate it!

Love,

Itachi, who like needs to think of like a better like death threat.


	11. He is like such a like loser!

Ummmmmm...Alright, how do I put this?

Hmmmmm...well, I don't really feel like typing sentences so I'm just going to list these things done.

**Reason's why AnimeViolinist001 hasn't been updating**

1. I've been really busy because school has started

2. I have writer's block...Seriously, it's like blank. I NEED IDEAS PEOPLE!

3. I'm not getting that many views...Yes, I do check how many views I get for each chapter...And yes, it is everyday.

4. I'm not getting reviews. I normally don't really care about reviews, but if you guys don't send me reviews or tell me how my fanfics are, then that just tells me that you guys are uninterested in my fanfic or my fanfics are really crappy and you just don't have the heart to tell me.

So yeah, that's why I haven't been updating...But the ones that I'm really stressing out are numbers 1, 2, 3, and 4.


	12. Hairspray!

Gasp! It's another chapter! Ha ha! Yeah, I know I haven't updated in a while. It's because I'm drowning in homework and I have writer's block. I do have a new story up, so go check it out. I want your reviews! Oh and I really want to put a spotlight on Darkmoonphase, Hpfreak94, and KiraUzamaki for reviewing in my review drought...Well, Hpfreak94 shouldn't really count because she's my friend...and the reason Tobi was killed. XD Anyway, enjoy this chapter! And review! I know you want to! Oh and this chapter mentions Thanksgiving, so yeah. It's only in here to make the chapter funnier for you guys. :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything in this story. Blah! Blah! Blah! We all know this stuff...

------------------------------------------------------------

November 26, 2008

Dear diary,

Okay, so like Thanksgiving is like coming up and I'm like so pissed. Even though like Tobi's gone, Leader-san like wants us to like actually have like a Thanksgiving dinner. Like what the fuck?! Like what's the like point of it anyway?! AUGH! Like so pissed! I'm also like really like angry because like this like morning I like ran out my hairspray. Like OMG! I like need my like hairspary! Without it my like totally awesome hair like doesn't do like that totally awesome hair flip thing that I like totally love! Like OMG! This is like SO horrible! Like OMG! I'm like going to like die! Like so pissed! AUGH! So I like asked Leader-san if I could like go get some like more hairspray. But like Leader-san was like acting all bitchy and stuff and like didn't let me like go get my hairspray. Like OMG! Like at least Tobi isn't like here. If he like was like OMG! I like would've killed like SO many people. Like a lot of people!. Yeah.

Love,

Itachi, who like needs some like more hairspray!


	13. Ode to like Hairspray

Ummm...I don't even remember the last time I posted a chapter here. XD That's just sad.

Anyway, I'm sure you guys already know my normal excuses. So just to amuse you, the reader, and myself, the author, I'm going to make up a really random one. :) Let's see...Oh! The reason I haven't posted in a really long time is because I was sent of a quest to get a purple unicorn for a short yellow wizard named Taylor. (I would laugh if my friends didn't know where I got the name of the wizard.)

So yeah, that was my random made up excuse. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! (Help me with the next chapter, fangirls!...and fanguys!)(Also, it would be great if you guys could help me with my other fanfic. The one that has the Death Note/Naruto crossover.)

------------------------------------------------------------------

March 2, 2009 (Which is actually 4 days away from the day the first journal post was posted...Just a random tidbit. Alright, carry on.)

Dear diary,

OMG! I haven't like written in here in like FOREVER! Oh well. Anyway, like in my like last journal post, it said I like needed like some more hairspray. But now I'm like really happy because like I got like some more hairspray! Like yay! I was just like really happy the store I like went to was like having a sale, so I was like able to like stock up on hairspray. That way, Leader-sad like won't be like all bitchy about not like letting me get my like hairspray. Oh hairspray, like what would I like do without you in my like life. OMG! I should like make like a poem to hairspray. Yeah! I like totally should. Like let's see here. I should I like start it out. Hmmmm.....

Hairspray. Oh hairspray, how I like love you so.

I don't think I could like ever let you like go.

I think I would be like miserable like without you here.

Besides, if I like didn't have you, I would like look like much too queer.

My like life would like suck without you like in it.

Ever like hour I spend with like you, seems to like pass by like minutes.

Hairspray. Oh hairspray, how I like love you so.

I would like kill someone if I like ever had to like let you go.

OMG! I'm like a poet and I like didn't even like know it. Oh yeah. It's because I'm like fabulous like that. Like look out all you like poets out there, Uchiha Itachi is like here to PWN you with his like poems!

Love,

Itachi, who is like the most like amazing and like fabulous poet there is!


	14. FABULOUS!

It's been a really long time since I last posted anything. Yeah, I know. You don't have to yell at me. I've been really busy and stressed out lately and I'm very sorry for not posting. So here's the next chapter of _Itachi's Diary._ I hope you guys enjoy it.

Oh and lately, I've been thinking about writing my own original story and getting an account of FictionPress. (Don't worry. I'll still be here.) So far I only have a short portion of this story and it would really help me out if you could read it and tell me what you guys think of it. I've posted it on Quizilla, so yeah. Here's the link: (Just take out all the spaces) http :// www. quizilla .com/stories /9251651 /story-excerpt

--------------------------------------------------------

April 13, 2009

Dear Diary,

Yesterday, was like Easter. Like OMG! It was like terrible! Okay, so like first thing in like the morning, I'm like getting ready, when like all of a like sudden, like Tobi like pops out of like nowhere. And he like looks like ridiculous too. Like OMG! He looked like so like stupid with his like bunny ears. Like OMG! I mean like I used to like like Easter, but like now because of like stupid Tobi, I like fucking hate it! UGH! Like seriously! All Tobi could like do like the entire like day was like hop around while like saying, "I'm the Easter Bunny!" Like OMG! Shut the like fuck up! You are like so annoying! I seriously like hate the fucking idiot who like somehow like brought him back. UGH! It was actually like kinda like nice without him, when like all of a sudden he's like back. UGH! I like swear he's like fucking magical or somthing. But he's like not as like magical as like me. We all know I'm like the most magical and FABULOUS like person like out there. :D

Love,

Itachi, the magical and FABULOUS one!


	15. Texting whore!

Hello all of my crazy fans! I have recently gotten a microphone and so I wanted to try something new for this chapter of _Itachi's Diary_. I've decided to record a video message for you guys!...Okay, it's more like just my voice, but you get the point. The video is up on my YouTube account, but just in case anyone out there is lazy, the link to it is below. Just take out all of the spaces. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

http:// www. youtube. com/watch ?v=j9t- oSsL TYg

------------------------------------------------------

July 7, 2009

Dear diary,

Like OMG! I haven't like written like anything in like forever! Like OMG! And I like I even said that like I was like going to write on like my birthday, which was like last month. But like I couldn't like write anything because of like stupid like fucking Tobi! He like gets on my like nerves so like much! Like OMG! I just want to like fucking kill him! Like seriously! So anyway, like nothing like interesting has been like happening. But like lately, like my cell phone is like being like a bitch. I mean like seriously! I just want like text and it's like not letting me! Like OMG! I NEED TO LIKE FUCKING TEXT! OMG! I'm like such a texting whore. I like love texting. I could probably text like all day if I like could. But like I fucking can't because like I have to go on like missions and other like crap that like I don't like care about. Ugh! Like OMG!

Love,

Itachi, the texting whore.


End file.
